"优柔寡断"==Indecisive

The four chinese words that mean Indecisive in English seems to define my personality for the past 4 years. It seems that I have been indecisive on my life, my future and my personal relationship.

Take my life for example, I was able to pursue a college education in the states but I was indecisive at the end of my college education. I tried hard to stay back in the US in order to escape from my own family matters but unfortunately it didn't work out that well.

For my future, I thought that working as an IT guy will eventually lead me to where I want to be one day but it does not seemed to be possible to stick on this route like many investor said we all need to diversify in order to minimize the risk. I guess this is what I am planning to do right now. I am trying to learn more about investment because it may not lead me "billion dollar" dream but it will eventually help me reach the level of financial security that many employers fail to provide today.

Lastly, my relationship. I was fortunate to meet with a few beautiful and great ladies while I was in college. Firstly, I was able to meet this floor leader, Kylie, in the dorms but I was not able to talk to her and get to know her better since I didn't have the gut by then. I hope I got her name right. Then, I met up with this Japanese friend of mine. She really made me learned a lot of things about how to pursue a relationship. For example, I tried my best to help her out in college but when I think about it today, I should all really do it since we are all International students and International students are suppose to help one another. Maybe I am just a guy who is just too easy to have a crush on someone. Thirdly, I had another crush on a Japanese schoolmate of mine. Until today, I still feel for her. She was the first girl that I really asked out for dinner mano o mano. I am not sure if I can still call it a date but I really like her both as an individual and as a unique person. I guess there are many things that happened when there was a lack of communication. I haven't talked to her since I last called on March 07. Finally, there was this great Starbucks girl, Tifanny who was a great barista since I really enjoyed the unsweetened black tea lemonade that she made for me when I got my drink off Starbucks at Stonestown. Let's say that I got a priority line when I normally gott a drink from Starbucks then. I could have asked her out but I guess I was too focus on Kyoko then. Tifanny was definitely a great girl and I am sure she is one of the cheerful human beings that you can find on this earth.

Like Steve Jobs said in his podcast, you won't be able connect the dots ahead of you. When you look back at the dots behind you, you will certainly be able to connect them in someways. Although I have many regrets in my life, but I have certainly grew a lot from my stay in America. I got to know some people who are really my buddies. Last but not least, I really get to know my family members who have supported me over the few years.